Harmony, Not Balance

I’m typing this from my living room floor, a tired and exhausted pup asleep in my lap, and thinking about the power of a career that provides this level of harmony.

I’m a pet parent and love my animals, but it also means that when they’re sick or injured I need to be able to focus on their needs without putting my job in jeopardy. So, when my dog came crawling into my office with what turned out to be a torn ACL, I went into mom mode, while my team went into support mode. The live training that I was supposed to lead the next two days? It was off my plate in minutes. The meetings on my calendar that needed to get postponed? My coworkers were on it without batting an eyelash.

So why do I feel so overwhelmed with guilt about it all? Instead of taking the time they’re happily giving me to stay totally focused where my energy is needed most, I’m still playing games in my head about all the ways I’m failing at work and how I should be jumping back in and trying to do it all.

Luckily, in the years that I’ve been coaching I’ve seen this exact same response on repeat and know I’m not alone in these thoughts. Early on in my career it sometimes even formed resentment towards others that seemed to have a better relationship with their personal needs than I ever did.

As I process these feelings of guilt over giving energy to my personal priorities, I’m considering all the facts that have made it possible for me to have such a strong, harmonious career and home life today. Here is what has worked for me:

1. LEARNING ABOUT MYSELF

I have learned that I need a quick pace, actionable tasks, and space to roam in order to stay focused on the tasks at hand and on top of project work. Tasks with long, drawn-out deadlines tend to feel overwhelming and often cause me to lose track of the project details. Before I understood this, I had become used to making mistakes and missing important project elements that would cause me to worry about my work 24/7, and I regularly burned myself out in catastrophic ways.

Once I invested myself in learning more about how I was wired it allowed me to operate in a way that was way more efficient for me. Instead of apologizing for my mistakes all the time, I became a trustworthy and reliable leader that could take a rest without worrying I missed something critical.

APPLY IT TO YOU:

• Dig deeper into assessments you may have taken, like Gallup Strengths, DiSC, or Enneagram.
• Find a specialist (like your Talent Advisor) who can help interpret your results and identify new language and ideas to approach your role more effectively.
• Check out podcasts like Outsmarting Procrastination: The Cognitive Psychology Behind Why We Procrastinate and How to Stop for Good – BONUS: It qualifies for CPE, even while you’re caring for a sick pup😊

2. GETTING ORGANIZED

“I’ll figure it out later” used to be my catchphrase. I often praised myself for how laid back and go-with-the-flow I was, but in reality, I was so disorganized simply thinking about what was coming next completely overwhelmed me and shut me down. The chill nature on the outside just masked chaos internally.

What I’ve learned now is that the only way I can breathe when I’m out of the office is when I understand what is coming down my pipeline in the next 8-12 weeks. This allows me to know if there are projects I should be thinking about, deadlines I should be aware of, and project elements that are not being met to appropriately prepare in advance.

APPLY IT TO YOU:

• Schedule time each week to look ahead. Make sure projects aren’t stacked too heavily and identify if there are any potential conflicts coming up.
• Delegate as relevant and look for a point person that can hold down the fort while you’re away.
• Find an organizational tool that works for you. I use my Outlook calendar because it can be automated across all of my devices. What works best for you?
• Look for the next live session of 5 Choices for Extraordinary Productivity in the Spiirall Catalog!

3. ACCEPT HARMONY, NOT BALANCE

The word balance represents a rigid duality; that for one element to be right the other must match it perfectly. No matter how hard I tried to create balance between work and life, I found it exhausting and almost impossible to achieve.

Instead, I adopted the idea of harmony when it comes to my personal and professional needs. Rather than constantly trying to find the right weights for each side of my life to balance each other out, I opted for a more fluid approach that understands there are sometimes (like today) when my personal life is going to demand more energy and other days that will demand more from me professionally. Each season ebbs and flows naturally as I allow my self-understanding and organizational approach to be the rigidity that keeps it all together.

APPLY IT TO YOU:

• Communicate with your team honestly:

1. Ask: “Aside from the projects/tasks I’ve mentioned, are there any items you are waiting on me for in order to move forward while I am out?”
2. Clarify your boundaries. Are you accessible while you are away from your desk? Is there someone else that can / will answer questions on your behalf?
3. Set timelines as best as you are able so your team can rely on you. When will you reach back out with further details? Do you know when you’ll be back?

• Prioritize your roles and responsibilities to ensure you’re giving yourself to what matters most. My most important roles include Coach, Mom, Wife, and Artist. Knowing when and where I need to be to give the best to each of these roles makes the difference for me. What are your roles and priorities?

Let us know what tips work for you to maintain a healthy harmony in your own life and career!